In a way this is a tribute to all mothers who have wayward children, whose children are diagnosed with terminal illnesses (but are waiting for God's miracles) or who lose their children in the prime of their lives.

Mothers and fathers can attest to this: bringing a child to the world is not a task for the faint-hearted; though nature plays a significant role in women's readiness and pain threshold. Despite this, women find themselves going back on their words not to have more babies even after they have vowed never to go through the pains of pregnancy and childbirth. These are difficulties imposed on women by Mother Nature and over the years women have confronted this phenomenon with boldness, equanimity and the grace of God. Again watching a child grow from one stage of life, from the cradle-sitting, crawling, walking, talking, going to school, getting a job and settling down in marriage to begin their own life- are stages that make parents feel fulfilled. Parents also hope and pray to grow old enough to see their grand-children. These are some of the wishes, hopes and prayers of every parent. But what if this natural course of progression is truncated by some rude shocks, a cascade of events beyond their control; thereby inflicting on their psyche, pains beyond measure?

Such are the pains, agonies and helplessness that the mothers of President Umaru Yar'Adua and Umar Farouk Mutallab may be going through. Maryam Babangida's mother and all mothers who had experienced, or are currently experiencing difficulties over the lives of their children; watching over dying son or daughter or in the case of Farouk, the possibility of spending life in jail in a foreign land. There are many people in the shoes of these mothers who may not be as popular and are not public figures, but can relate to their story, their emotional battle, anguish and despair.

Last week Farouk appeared in a Detroit court charged with terrorism and intent to bomb almost 300 people on board a Detroit flight on December 25, 2009. He faces a life jail if convicted. Though he pleaded not guilty, the possibility of him receiving anything less than 20 years cannot be guaranteed. For Farouk who believed he had a cause and was prepared to die for it, a life jail may not mean much to him. However for his mother, the wound is deep and may never quite heal; whether it's a life sentence, 20 year jail term or a suicide bomb death.  This, by no means, is not a plea for mercy for him, no is it an apology. Farouk's action (attempt) is condemnable by any yardstick whatsoever. My heart goes to his family and especially the woman that gave birth to him and the painful feeling of seeing her son being condemned by all. I imagine she will be glued to her TV every time her son appears in court.  I can almost feel the quickening of her heart beat each time Farouk Mutallab's name is mentioned on TV, or radio. Here is one name that has been mentioned countless of times, all over the world and every day. I feel for Farouk's mother, who had big plans for her son.  Plans that are now threatened by Farouk's self created acts of terrorism. What is it that will be going through her mind? Nobody knows. So much has been written about her son's escapades, travails and now trials. Such is the agony of mothers, the pillar of the universe, the rope that binds, now hurting and 'bleeding internally'. Instead of Farouk to celebrate his mother, his action is putting her through sorrow. This shouldn't be.

There are indeed documented literatures, tributes and poems, to celebrate mothers. A Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad says 'paradise lies at the feet of mothers'. Tupac and Boyz2 Men dedicated tracks to mothers. Nigerians still dance to late Prince Niko Mbaga's timeless Sweet Mother. Such is the reverence accorded mothers, and which further underscores their essence and roles in our lives. Farouk didn't do this. Instead he shattered his mother's heart.

This thought also came to mind last week during the eight day prayer for the former First Lady. Her mother was present much to the surprise of many who didn't know that the poor old woman was alive. Imagine the mental torture this woman must have been put through in the last few years when her daughter was diagnosed with a terminal illness -ovarian cancer-before finally losing her.  The reality, the helplessness and the end. Except to wax spiritual and seek consolation in God, tears cannot wash away the pains. Again thinking about Yar Adua's ill health makes me wonder what his mother must be going through. The thoughts, the tears. Until Tuesday morning when Yar’Adua was said to have spoken to the nation, he had been presumed dead several times. Again anybody can imagine the trauma of a woman of her age watching over a son who many believe is dying. He may be president of the 'giant of Africa,' but to his mother Yar’Adua is a child. As Africans, you are never considered old as long as your parents are alive. Just like you never really feel old and vulnerable as long as your parents are alive. May Allah console all these women and many more that are in this traumatic situation. May He rekindle their hope and aspiration  for their children.

From my mailbox

Re: Yar’Adua, Honour Your Pedigree

Salaam and good day. Kudos for your incisive piece of Friday, 01/01/2010. How I wish the president could have access to such sincere advice. God bless you. Mukhtar, Kano. 07037786080

What a downright piece! Zainab you are one hell of a fine journalist. Happy new year. Joshua Clement, 08089658970

Re: The Undiplomatic Ambassador

Salam, Thank you for saying my mind. Garba Aminchi was never a career diplomat. He was only a chemist attendant when he was made deputy governor. Otherwise how would a heart pericardisis patient request for tuwo? Imagine how much he has goofed. Ibrahim, 08053974944

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